Dilemmas

Of late, I have been pondering long and hard over the following issues:

#1 - To move closer to ILs OR to stay put

We have been going back to my IL's place for dinner practically everyday (except on Sats) since I have trouble finding time to cook during weekdays. The additional travelling is clearly taking a toll on husband's health. My ILs live in Serangoon and the drive is about 15mins one-way from Punggol. Make that 2-way everyday and you will feel tired too.

My dream is to get a smaller unit within the same condo as them. Imagine just take a lift to their unit instead of having to pack and drive. Unfortunately, we are unable to afford a condo just yet, no matter how much we scrimp and save (something I am not very good at). Somemore theirs is a freehold property. Getting a 3-bedder will probably cost abt 900k-1mil or even more. Where to get that kinda $$$??? Unless you have a fat paycheck awaiting you at the end of each month.

We have tried sourcing for a HDB flat in the area but few are selling because everyone is anticipating the soon-to-be launch of new MRT. We are fussy too, only wanting corner and lift landing type. Not surprisingly, no luck so far.

Smarty pants husband has proposed selling our flat first while the HDB prices are still stable. "Cashing out" was the term he used. He suggested putting up with my ILs (husband's dream) temporarily then purchase a choice unit later in the year. According to him, the pte prices will continue to fall because many pte homeowners will "go bankrupt with the economic downturn" and it will be a "buyers' market" then. He says we should seize the chance to sell NOW since the value of our unit will invariably go down too in time to come.

BUT I cannot fathom going through the hassle of moving TWICE - first, to my ILs' place then to our choice unit. What will happen to all our stuff right?? How long will it take for us to search for that 'choice' unit? I also cannot imagine squeezing in to live with my ILs (not that they mind) without the security of having my own pad. I feel 'rootless' without a place of my own. I feel as if I am 'marginalised', being reduced from staying in the comfort of a big house to a clastrophobic bedroom.....

Or heck, JUST STAY PUT, lah. Why go through unnecessary trouble and expenses? We should focus on saving $ for our children's future.

Conclusion: STAY PUT

#2 - To go back to work this June OR renew for another year

My NPL will expire this June and I have to inform the ministry earlier if I plan to renew my leave. BUT if I go back to work, who is going to take care of meimei??? Who will bathe/clothe/feed/change nappies for her???

The most suitable candidate would be my FIL bcos he is the fittest and has experience in caring for Ying Ying when she was younger. BUT he still has to work in the daytime even though his working hours are flexible. The next person would probably be my MIL but she most likely will delegate such duties to her maid since she is physically strained. My SIL could assist but needs 'training'. Problem is she and my MIL are TV addicts. What if meimei turns out like them??

My own mother is very willing but she has been more of a playmate rather than a caregiver. Problem is she can't cook as well as my MIL and I have major issues with her percieved standard of hygiene and cleanliness. Besides, she has no maid. My father is busy working day and night. Who is going to help her? She has suggested hiring a maid and she will help supervise. But this means she will have to come over daily. This is certainly not practical arrangement as we live far apart (Punggol vs Kallang).

We have considered moving closer to them but there have been no desirable units which appeal to us. Their new flat is only 2yrs old; one of those constructed under the HDB en bloc scheme. So we have to wait for another 2+years before existing owners are allowed to sell. Hmmm........maybe our solution is to stay put and wait out?

Conclusion: RENEW NPL (for another yr)

#3 - To hire a maid OR to continue to be self-reliant

I am not a superwoman and I need someone to support me in terms of household chores. The daily affair of cleaning, washing and cooking leaves me not much time and energy with the girls. Sometimes I wonder if I have taken NPL to work as a maid at home? Many a times, I have to park the girls in front of the TV (albeit educational ones) while I cook/wash the dishes/hang out the clothes in the kitchen. With meimei getting to be more active by the day and eating solids full-time, I find myself even more pressed for time and energy. Maybe I am getting old too, after going through 2 childbirths. I can't summon the level of energy I used to have in me.

Ideally, we hope to be self-reliant. Afterall, our mothers had managed along without maids in the olden days, right? But so far we have not been 100% successful because we have been relying on my IL's maid for ironing jobs to be done and most dinners are taken at my IL's place.

If I hire domestic help, I will still continue to feed/bathe/clothe/toilet the needs of the little ones. AND I will be free to do other things like sending and fetching Ying Ying from school (no school bus - yeah!), helping her with her Chinese, doing flashcards with meimei, taking meimei to classes while Ying Ying is at school and taking them to the playground in the evenings. AND we will always come back to a clean and neat house, with hot meals to tuck in too.

BUT husband is not very open about hiring domestic help Then again, he isn't the one dealing with the chores OK! Try telling him and he would end up comparing you with those ancient Chinese women peasants working out in the fields with children strapped on their backs.

Conclusion: HIRE HELP (full-time)

#4 - To enrol Ying Ying for a full-day programme OR stick to half-day

I recently realised the full-day programme cost just $250 more a mth. Instead of going home at 12.30pm, the full-day children will bathe and nap from 1-3pm and participate in various activities from 3-5pm. (Mon-Chinese; Tue-Sc; Wed-Music; Thu-Art/Cooking; Fri-EL) Free-play between 5-6.30pm and school will subsidise for those who pick up their kids before 5.30pm.

I like the structure of the programme and I have gotten good feedback on the trs involved. Right now there are 10 full-day kids at her level and they can take in another 4 more, max. If I go back to work, I would definitely sign her up. This arrangement would be much better than watching Playhouse Disney channel at my IL's place. BUT this will mean fewer opportunities to interact with meimei. Well, nothing is perfect in this world.

In fact, I even contemplate signing her up even if I am not going back to work so that I will have more time for meimei and settle chores around the house. Then again, I did not take NPL to do chores!

Conclusion: HALF-DAY (till I return to work)

#5 - To renovate our place OR make do

Our flat will be 6 yrs old this year. If we are staying put, I would like to do a simple renovation to make our stay more pleasant.

Some things in the house are falling apart, no thanks to the shoddy work by our contractor. E.g. the master bathrm cabinet below the sink is giving way and the tap has been leaking for the past one year (gasp!); One of the glass panel of the wardrobe drawer has fallen off 2 years ago; one of the shoe cabinet doors keeps coming off despite screwing it back a few times.

Other than that, I would also like to do up certain parts of the house such as:

(a) Installing a kitchen glass door - For practical reasons: the wind from the main door and living windows has been affecting the stove flames and slow down the cooking process; so I have to close the main door whenever I cook, which is quite a hassle and it tends to make the house dark and stuffy.

(b) Redoing the ENTIRE kitchen* (if budget allows) - For multiple reasons:

• (1) Our stove is facing the common toilet door. Could the bad fengshui be the reason why I am lacking confidence in cooking?!?
• (2) We are fighting a losing battle with the ants, which we 'fondly' called them N-Z. The N-Z team will march to the tabletop if you leave food there for more than 20mins. We have not been able to trace their nest; the ant poison traps and spraying have not been effective. Husband thinks the ants are nesting behind the cabinets and the only way is exterminate to dismantle the whole setup. Gosh.
• (3) Our existing cheaper solid kitchen top (cream and plain) proved to be a poor choice in the long run because it is not easy to maintain and some stains are impossible to come off. Would pick a better quality one, with dotted pattern and a curved up corner to stop spills onto the floor. (Hey, am I becoming more savvy or what?) Somebody recommended me a solid top sink instead of the conventional stainless steel sink for ease of cleaning. Maybe can consider that too.
• (4) Our current bottom cabinets are suspended which means missed storage space and more floor area to clean up. Will be wise and do a non-suspended type this time round.
  

(c) Installing cabinets and shelving in the study rm in the recessed area under the window - storage space is never enough.

(d) Renovating the master toilet - this includes dismantle the existing cabinets and install one with ample storage space.

(e) Redoing the master wardrobe - the sliding doors were designed way too big and it is a hassle to open.

(f) Installing a panel to block off the main entrance - We have a habit of keeping the door open and husband feel a bit 'exposed'; also for fengshui reason - the door leads directly to the living room window and the 'qi' escapes too easily.

(g) Custom-making a dining settee* (if budget allows) - We love dining settee and often head for one when we dine out. We rarely eat at our existing dining table.

(h) Changing the flooring* (if budget allows) - Our existing ones is provided by the HDB and husband hates it because the tiles are ugly and the lines are obvious. Would also change the laminated to parquet for the rooms and main corridor. The gaps between the laminated panels in the master room are coming apart over time. Plus I find laminated flooring very slippery when wet. Would like to walk on parquet just for a change.

Phew! And I thought I wanted a minor renovation! Maybe I am being too greedy. Didn't I mention about saving $ for our children's future?

Conclusion: RENOVATE (selectively)

It feels good blogging and organising my thoughts down. There is no immediate and perfect solution and I may just change my mind again but at least I am clearer about what I really want.