Mean Kids

We were hanging out at the pool today when an incident happened that keeps replaying at the back of my mind. It went like this:

Ying Ying had left her hippo watergun at the edge of the pool. An Eurasian girl (about 8-9 years old) happened to see the watergun in front of her and decided to play with it. She later passed to her younger brother (about 6-7 years old) and he too had fun with the watergun for a short while. Just then, Ying Ying passed by and recognised her watergun and demanded to have it back. So I called for Ying Ying several times to say it's ok, never mind, we could share but Ying Ying continued to ask for it back. The boy ignored her and kept playing with it which made Ying Ying super upset and on the verge of being hysterical. Then, instead of returning to Ying Ying the watergun, the boy tossed into the water a distance away. Knowing she couldn't reach for it, she started to cry loudly. The sister quickly retrieved the watergun and gave it back to Ying Ying who was so angry that she used the watergun to hit the boy's arm. The boy held his arm and glared at her. Meanwhile, their mother sat nearby with her friends and did absolutely nothing.

I quickly called for Ying Ying to come over to admonish her for hitting. I told her she could just ask the boy nicely for the watergun instead of demanding for it. I also told her she was in the wrong to hit him and whatever happens, no matter what, she shouldn't hit people. Instead of hitting, she could say to the boy something like "I am very angry with you for doing that."

For a while, I was a little embarrassed because any onlooker would immediately think that Ying Ying was possessive and self-centred for kicking a big fuss over a toy. Even a little boy (about 5 years old) who also witnessed the whole incident, turned to me and said, "must share one".

Yes, it is good to share but the more I thought about it, I felt the Eurasian siblings were at fault too.

1) Why didn't they ask permission before playing with the watergun? I always tell Ying Ying never take things that do not belong to you. If you really want to play with it, you have to go ask the owners for permission. Also, do not assume people to always be ready to share with you when you ask.

2) Why didn't the boy return right away when the rightful owner asked for it back?

3) Why must he throw into the pool instead of just giving to her?

Isn't this a little bit like bullying?

Though Ying Ying seemed to have gotten over the incident, I still feel injustice for her and also feel bad that I had forced her to share and didn't help her take back her toy. Then again, it is probably good I did not interfere so that I could observe how she deal with the situation by herself and from there, teach her how to handle it better next time. Well, we can't always be there to help them, isn't it?

Ying Ying always have some difficulties relating to her peers even though she is very outgoing when comes to interacting with adults. Even her teachers last year commented she would rather play alone by herself instead of playing with her classmates. However, I didn't think much of it because I am not a very sociable person to begin with. Nevertheless, I know social skills are critical to one's success, particularly in today's context. What's the point of aceing yr studies but unable to relate to people around you, right? Hmmm....maybe some role-play at home and stories will help.... We shall see!